Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
