So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
