waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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