she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
