You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
