As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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