kristin has been a bad kristin
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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