Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize