Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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