Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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