I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
