you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All the doctor said was why
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
