I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
