she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
