Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
