I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
