she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
