Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
