His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
