He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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