This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
