It's like God shit irony all over that family
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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