which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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