so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize