you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
