Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
