see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize