Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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