I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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