True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My ass is underappreciated
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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