a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was like eating out sand paper
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
