Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
