Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
