I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
