remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
