I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
