I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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