Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
