I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
its liver damage thursday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
