last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize