...so i touched it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
