Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
