gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize