found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize