Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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