Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
