My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Me too!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
