If i come over, it means nothing
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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