I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
