We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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