You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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