hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
