i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you inspire me to be a worse person
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
