I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
