my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
