dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
