She went from zero to smokin in five shots
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize