whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
