Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
