she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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