Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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