Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
