Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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